Friendsgiving has become one of my favorite dinners of the year. There is no pressure to recreate anyone’s grandmother’s stuffing and no seating chart to negotiate, just good friends, a long table and a menu you actually want to eat. The word itself is younger than you might think: Merriam-Webster added it to the dictionary in 2020 and traces its first known use to 2007.
With Thanksgiving on November 26 this year, the Saturday before, November 21, is the natural Friendsgiving date. Here is how I would host it, with a menu built from recipes here on The JQ List.
1. Decide: Potluck or Host-Cooked?
Both work. A potluck keeps things relaxed and lets everyone contribute, but it needs a little coordination so you do not end up with four bowls of mac and cheese. If you would rather cook, make the main and one or two sides yourself and ask guests for wine, dessert and flowers. Either way, decide before you send the invitations so guests know what is expected.
2. Send Invitations Two Weeks Out
November weekends fill up quickly. A simple text or email two weeks ahead is plenty. Ask about dietary restrictions at the same time, and if it is a potluck, share a sign-up list with categories (appetizer, side, dessert, drinks) rather than leaving it open.
3. Build the Menu
Here is the menu I would make, mixing classic Thanksgiving dishes with a few of my favorite fall recipes:
- To drink: a batch of Calvados Cider Sours as people arrive
- Bread: Parker House Rolls, Boston’s own contribution to the holiday table
- The main: a dry-brined roast turkey, or for a smaller group, red wine braised short ribs, which can be made a day ahead
- Sides: Southern cornbread dressing and cranberry sauce with orange and port
- Dessert: sweet potato pie and a tarte tatin
4. Work Backward From the Day
The secret to a calm host is doing almost nothing on the day itself. A few days ahead, start the dry brine on the turkey (follow the timing in the recipe). Two days ahead, make the cranberry sauce, which only gets better in the fridge. The day before, bake the pies, make the short ribs if you are going that route, and assemble the dressing so it only needs to go in the oven. On the day, you are just roasting, reheating and setting the table.
5. Set a Table That Feels Like an Occasion
Friendsgiving deserves the good plates. A runner of seasonal greenery, a few low candles and some small gourds or apples down the middle of the table are all you need. Keep arrangements low so everyone can see each other across the table. For more ideas, see my guide to hosting the perfect fall dinner party at home.
6. If You Are the Guest
Bring what you signed up for, ready to serve, in a dish you do not need back that night. If you were not assigned anything, a good bottle of wine or flowers already in a vase (so the host does not have to hunt for one) are always welcome. And offer to help clear, even if the host says no. Not sure what to wear? Here is how I dress for Thanksgiving, as host or guest.
Then sit down, pour another glass and enjoy it. That is the whole point.
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